There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
