They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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