If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
