Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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