Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
