Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
