So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
