I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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