i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
