Your tits are I can't wait for
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
