brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
