So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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