I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
