He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
