I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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