C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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