You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
