Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
