Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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