Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
