I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
How's work?
Spinning.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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