what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
