I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
