I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
