Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize