I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
