I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do vagina's smell?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
