Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
