Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
