thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
