He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
