i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
