The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
