Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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