I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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