he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize