tell your sister to shave her snatch
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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