mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
