the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
