Me too!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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