She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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