WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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