i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she told me i tasted like america
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
