He asked to "fluff my boner.."
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
