I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
