Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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