What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
