he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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