i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize