there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
