i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
