terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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