Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
