Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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