Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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