Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.

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(619): View more from California

I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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(845): View more from New York

I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!

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(313): View more from Michigan

We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it

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(843): View more from South Carolina

To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.

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