the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
