ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
