did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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