i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
sex in a hospital.. check
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
