If that was your dad, he is hot
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
